Nuclear Rays From My Halogen Haze

music, politics, art, Elvis apologism

my babies do good sculptures, yeah. February 8, 2013

Valentine’s Day is coming up, and love is all around us. Some of my friends, including a couple former lovers, have even gotten engaged in the last few weeks. Though I’ve been living happily for a couple years now as some kind of quasi-poly-loner-bachelor type, this season always makes me question what it is I’m looking for when it comes to romance. And I think I can boil it all down to a punk song I first heard when I was about 14 years old.

Of the hundreds of thousands of songs that have influenced what I like about music, probably more than half are about dating and relationships, anything from “Feel Like Makin’ Love” to “Be My Wife.” Many of those use “love” as a mere canvas, a quick subject matter to scream about or lay dance beats over or solo across; others of them, more direct, have spoken to me about love and lust with crystal clear realism, like Aphrodite whispering into my ear while rubbing my buttocks with a Mosrite fuzz pedal.

But those songs are about being in a dating situation, or falling out of one; few songs have inspired what qualities I look for in people I want to date. Especially in my youth, when I was on a limited budget and you couldn’t hear whole discographies for nothin’ on the internet, this song by the Rezillos was the tune that made me realize, hey, this is what I want, and I should go out and look for it, much like “He’s a Rebel” or “You’re So Square (Baby I Don’t Care)” might have spoken to some buckeyed youth in the golden age of teen pop:



I guess you could say this one really molded me, mwah ha hah!

Though the Rezillos were only about 15% – 22% female at any given time, and she didn’t sing lead on this one, this song is perhaps the most joyously egalitarian, matter-of-fact-ly feminist, and casually somewhat-sex-positive song about male-on-female attraction I think I’ve ever known. It’s all about getting turned on because your girlfriend makes art! She actually creates something meaningful out of her life instead of, I dunno, hanging out on the arm of a male artist, playing the groupie role that many female music fans probably felt was their only entry to rock in the pre-punk era. Okay, I know, it’s still a silly song about romance and lusting after a girl, but c’mon, it’s awesome, and so refreshing after thousands and thousands of songs about women that could be any woman, as if love’s context didn’t matter. This was the first song I may have ever heard, outside of maybe “Lovely Rita, Meter Maid” that celebrated a woman for her occupation!

God, you just have to love punk rock, warts and all. Note that the male character in the song is neither jealous nor tries to boast about his own similar creative endeavors–he’s very content to praise his gal’s talents for their own sake. Compared to more serious punk bands of their time, the Rezillos were considered high camp. But the teenaged me detected no irony in how the narrator places his baby’s sculpting skills far above her “pouting lips” or “curvy hips.”  He even brags to the world on how “she killa dilla,” goddam it! What does that even mean? He’s so egalitarian that by the end of the song, he can barely talk.

I discovered this tune on one of Rhino Records’ amazing, truly influential D.I.Y. compilations:  The Modern World – UK Punk II. Before this series came out, even just hearing pre-hardcore punk that wasn’t the Clash, Ramones, or Sex Pistols was exceedingly difficult in a burg like Tulsa, Oklahoma; I’d read about these bands for years in books at the library without knowing what they sounded like, and this was my first time to hear them all in one place. I vividly recall finding this tape for sale, used, in a counter display case at Mohawk Music–this was probably in 1993, just when my late-onset puberty was in full swing. I got pretty much the whole series and played them all the time, mostly on a Fisher-Price tape recorder that I kept in my Ram Charger, since it didn’t have a tape deck. Every band, every song in this series was mind-blowing. Though X-Ray Spex might have inspired my own self-direction more, and the Adverts’ “One Chord Wonders” inspired how I wanted to play music, “Good Sculptures” taught me real qualities to look for in someone else when trying to complement my life.

And it’s informed who I have dated ever since; my life is far richer because of it. Thank you, Rezillos, and Rhino Records, for helping make me this way. That’s not bragging, nor am I even saying I have overall good mate choice: I’ve dated people, short and long term, who weren’t right for me, who were too innocent for me, or too clever, who left their clothes all over the living room, who took lots of my money, who tried to hurt themselves, who saw the mean and stupid parts of me and just thought they’d be mean and stupid back rather than tell me (or leave). I’ve dated people who stayed with me for far too long because they had no idea how to quietly back away from my own rudeness and immaturity. And this is true: I’ve been socked in the head by nearly every girl I’ve seriously dated.

But hey, man, at least I got the art! I got inspiration, and I got to enjoy a birds-eye view of so many creative processes. I can think back with such joy, and completely undeserved pride, on the albums my lovers have recorded, or the books they wrote, stores they opened, photos they took, planet they saved, ribald performances they titillated with, audiences they made chuckle, essays they published, DJ nights they rocked, urban fruit trees they harvested, shows they organized, videos they edited, kink they celebrated, wigs they wore … even just karaoke songs they were bold enough to pull off! Even at my most miserable and least desirable in a dating capacity, I’ve kept my eyes focused on the creative ones. And it’s never let me down, at least not on the level of my… soul, for lack of a better word. And as for one night stands? Well, at least I think I’ve done pretty good about not fucking anyone who doesn’t have books.

So yes, yes, thank you Rezillos. And thank you, you talented ladies and gents from my past.  Ayy-ai-addy, addy-oh! If you ever wondered what I ever saw in you, it’s all because you does good sculptures. Yeah.

Keep doing ‘em.


-D. M. Collins

P.S. You know who else seems to have been inspired by this song? Opus from Bloom County!

 

April 22, 1995: The Lepers Played Ikon, and I Puked on Some Jocks June 10, 2012

In the late early mid-90s, I, along with a girl name Charlie, my friend Claire, an artist named Mike, our young mascot, Nads, and a couple other ne’er-do-well rebellious  young teens, put out an anonymous zine at Tulsa’s Booker T. Washington High School called “Butyraceous,” a funky-sounding name meaning “having the salubrious qualities of butter.” Witty, eh?

We filled our little rag with cartoons and insults making our teachers look like they were smoking crack or saying naughty sex stuff, and were on the cusp of suspension for about a year. But really, for me, it was less an excuse to be rebellious and more a chance to write about whatever I wanted and have a vehicle to get people reading it. There’s nothing quite like shock value, secrecy, and thumbing one’s nose at authority to get other teens interested in what you have to say.

And I said more than a few things in Butyraceous about Marta Estirado and the Lepers. Today would be Marta’s 35th birthday, and I really wish she’d have made it this far: she never got to see the movie she wrote be shown as a completed film, and I would have liked to have her visit me again in L.A.; the only show I think we got to see when she visited me the one time was a Misfits tribute band (albeit with Bobb Bruno in the band).

By the end of her life, she looked and acted a bit like a burnout, and it was sad: sad for her, but also sad to my many friends who seemed to have forgotten the gleam in her eye and the raw wit she brought to Tulsa’s newly thriving punk scene in the 90s. In the role of band leader “Dina Leprosy,” she played possibly the most artistic role in any punk band in Tulsa at the time, a role that no one has, to my knowledge, ever taken upon themselves to imitate.

And that’s a shame, because in a town full of hardcore and noise, plus some ill-fated ska sounds, the Lepers were on a whole ‘nuther level. They weren’t afraid to go there with costumes, makeup, melodies, and a kind of comedy that the Kids Who Never Learned to Color Inside the Lines just weren’t clever enough to imitate—sure, the Kids had funny lyrics, but the Lepers had oddball backwards-masked words, and a little self-referential love for National Enquirer headlines, and even a love for throwing strange Jell-o concoctions on their audiences. It was almost psychedelic, but darker and Gothier in a way that the actual Goths in town didn’t exactly recognize: here was Alien Sex Fiend and Siouxsie Sioux and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark recycled into something that, to this day, over twice as old now as I was then, I still recognize as genius (and this link is to one of their least creative songs, sadly the only one on YouTube).

And fuck, I wish I had more than just old memories to enjoy from Marta’s grand life oeuvre. Here’s my contribution to her brief but potent scrapbook: a review of the Lepers’ show at Ikon on April 22, 1995, which I wrote for Butyraceous under an assumed name. If I have the dates right, I was 18, and a very immature 18 at that! Marta got a chance to read this, many years ago; if somehow I’m wrong on the whole atheism thing, and she’s floating around the cosmos or flitting about in the wiring of walls and short-circuits of cellphone batteries, I hope she takes the time to read this again, youthful grammar mistakes and all.

The Lepers’ Show: Big Pussy

I knew the April 22 Lepers show at Ikon was gonna be good right from the start, when singer and bassist Dina Leprosy confided to me “My drummer’s drunk as hell, my guitarist’s had a few beers, and I’m whacked out on Mini-Thins. We’re gonna suck!” After handing Dina some Welch’s Grape Jelly I’d managed to sneak in, I was practically licking my lips in anticipation of the upcoming show.

The Lepers came on stage looking like their music sounds: they wore bright make-up, carefully Vaselined hair, plastic trashbags, and facial scabs. They did their repertoire amidst the booing and jeering of the several, somewhat-trendy, young punksters in the pit, who seemed to be having a thoroughly good time. The Lepers, of course, responded between and in the middle of their songs, with several witty insults and comebacks (excluding the unwitty drummer Matt Taylor, who kept chanting “Big Pussy!” all night for no apparent reason).

My favorite part of the show was near the end, when I started getting really sick. Perhaps the grape jelly that Dina/Marta had thrown all over the floor, the punkers, and my face was making me nauseous. Anyway, I was being jostled around by all these mohawked young urchins, and I got the urge to vomit. I was going to try and suppress this urge, when I remembered these two Grateful Preps standing by the front of the stage. These guys had forced me out of my spot by the front and weren’t even watching the band, so I felt they deserved whatever they would get. I held my bile until I got near the closest Yagaboy and then heaved as hard as I could. I got his shirt and shoes, and the two preppies left the club. Success!

To wrap this review up, a Lepers show lives up to the hype of ’76 punk. Without sounding like the Sex Pistols or the Clash, the Lepers follow the original punk credo of experimentalism, originality, learning in public, and creative musical destruction. They probably don’t care as much about these things, however, as they do about expressing their emotions and generating manic fun. A Lepers show is both a musical and energetic event that just has to be experienced to be explained. So, to all those out there who like punk or profess to liking it, you want to check out the Lepers. For those of you who don’t like punk, go see a Lepers show, or shut the fuck up!

-Adolph Marx   

 

Pete Shelley’s record label gets an all-inclusive box set: The Total Groovy April 5, 2012

I should have done this as a full essay, but I’m still very proud to have singled this out for attention. It’s easy and convenient for reviewers to say inflammatory things like “This makes the Buzzcocks look un-needed and unnecessary” but I almost believe it after hearing the amazing CDs I was sent from Drag City! And by the way, they sent them to me on CD-R and packaged separately… it was kind of weird! Guys, please send me a full box set with liner notes as a thank-you? Please oh please oh please?!?

 

Arthur Magazine needs your help! June 27, 2008

Filed under: Anarchy,Folk,L.A. Record,Los Angeles,Other Stuff,Personal Shit,Politics,Religion — orangehairboy @ 12:33 am

L.A. Record just posted this, and I’m horrified and sickened that one of the best magazines of this decade is on the brink of temporary financial collapse. 

SAVE ARTHUR MAGAZINE NOW!

From various emails and the Arthur site:

Arthur Magazine needs $20,000 by July 1 or it will die.

No donation is too small.

Our preferred method of payment is Paypal. It is a free service to buyers, and enables you to pay directly By VISA, MASTERCARD, AMEX, DISCOVER or from your checking account or debit card. You can also convert foreign currency to U.S. dollars. Signing up only takes a few minutes.

Please use PayPal to make a donation to editor at arthurmag dot com

Thank you.

UPDATE: More from Jay…

On the heels of lower than expected ad sales (although they are trending up), increased production and distribution costs (higher quality printing and paper, higher fuel costs, increased printrun), and an “under-performing non-magazine product” (the Living Theatre dvd, for which we’ve sold less than 25% of the printrun since launch, received zero reviews or notices, etc), spiraling debt service payments (now $2k a month) on startup costs, and most importantly ZERO NEW BACKERS… we’ve finally reached the point where

WE HAVE NO MORE MONEY.

If we don’t obtain at least $20k in the next six days, ARTHUR is done. Our long-term prospects are good, if we are fortunate enough to make it through this rough patch.

Arthur has been a champion of the neo-folk movement, a pioneer of looking back with love at the halcyon days of 1967 (not merely at Woodstock, but at the individual communities and festivals and artists forgotten during the hacky-sack renaissance of the late eighties), a research boon to those of us who want to know about Angus MacLisse or Terry Riley or Lavender Diamond, and just plain incredible when it comes to everything I love about the gentle people of the world.  It saddens me that this world won’t allow them to survive and thrive, but it will if only they can move forward through this one rough patch to the rosy future that lies ahead.

 

Thomas Pynchon and Porky Pig May 11, 2008

Filed under: Anarchy,Books,Comedy,Movies,Other Stuff,Television — orangehairboy @ 10:27 am

Thomas Pynchon loves him some Porky Pig.  And this is why I have yet another reason to love YouTube.

If you’re like me, you have a giant mental backlog of things you want to remember to look up on YouTube.  Now, most people, at least according to Patton Oswalt on Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil the other night, use YouTube as a kind of America’s Funniest Home Videos Gone Wild, where people watch each other’s crappy clips of farting pandas and dudes getting socked in the nuts, as though we’re all little Caligulas demanding our slaves to fetch us more and more tawdry spectacles.  For me, though, YouTube is a library for the obscurest of obscure, a flashlight upon the most dimly held television and movie memories, a “gotcha!” quote catcher for politicians and celebrities, and an independent arbiter to help resolve disputes about what celebrity said which thing when where.  

But my greatest “eureka!” moments come when I’m waiting in an elevator or something, and I’ll recall something I’d once desperately wanted to see footage of but had no way of acquiring until YouTube came about.  It could be a performance of a comedian I’d only read books of, or something from the early early days of cinema, or footage of a personal hero from decades ago–and now, with the power invested in me by YouTube, I can finally see the Porky Pig cartoon where he fights an anarchist, as mentioned in The Crying of Lot 49:   

“It was all mixed in with a Porky Pig cartoon.” He waved at the tube. “It comes into your dreams, you know. Filthy machine. Did you ever see the one about Porky Pig and the anarchist?”

She had, as a matter of fact, but she said no. “The anarchist is dressed all in black. In the dark you can only see his eyes. It dates from the 1930′s. Porky Pig is a little boy. The children told me that he has a nephew now, Cicero. Do you remember, during the war, when Porky worked in a defense plant? He and Bugs Bunny. That was a good one too.”

“Dressed all in black,” Oedipa prompted him.

Well, like so many of Pynchon’s source materials, this one is bona-fide real, and now that I’ve built it up way more than it needs, here it is!

 

 

Sacco and Vanzetti January 7, 2008

Filed under: Anarchy,Movies — orangehairboy @ 10:49 pm

I saw the documentary Sacco and Vanzetti last night.  It’s the story of two Italian-American anarchists wrongly accused in 1920 of a robbery and murder they clearly did not commit, prosecuted by racist lawyers and cops who lied deliberately and forged evidence, and condemned to the electric chair by a right wing judge and white, Anglo-Saxon jury who just wanted to see them fry. 

Despite the fact that these two guys were outer-circle anarchists and to the far left of most Americans, thousands of good people came to their defense during their life, and hundreds of great artists and musicians, including Woody Guthrie (an aside: I wonder if Woody Allen hates him for inspiring Johnny Cash?) and Ennio Morricone, made art in tribute to them. 
This made me think of modern times, and made me really depressed.  There was a time when dissent was seen as patriotic, as much a civic duty as voting.  During the footage in this documentary, you  can see men in suits and women in neat dresses holding picket signs, attending rallies, and not just in the U.S. but abroad as well.  For seven years in the twenties, people followed the story of these martyrs and contributed with letter writing, protests, and contributions to their legal funds.  When did such protesting become seen as a hippy-dippy thing? 

Truth is, there are millions of protestors in this country who have taken to the streets protesting the war, protesting this administrations treatment of women’s reproductive health, protesting our inability to handle environmental crises–but they are painfully marginalized by the press and by our pundits.  Newspapers back in the day may have been sensational, but they knew how to sensationalize real news, telling Sacco and Vanzetti’s story as well as the details of the protests they spurred on in every grim detail, compelling readers to follow what was happening.  The modern press prefers to gloss over warts-and-all stories of graft, corruption, and bloody opportunism by sensationalizing the lives of actresses in their early twenties and the men and drugs they use.  It sickens me and makes me wonder whether life in the 1920′s, even with the blatant racism of the times, might have been a better time for democracy than what we have now.

 

Love, Anarchy, and Emma Goldman December 29, 2007

Filed under: Anarchy,Books,Celebrities — orangehairboy @ 12:09 am

I finally finished reading Love, Anarchy, and Emma Goldman, Candace Falk‘s biography of the great anarchist and pioneering feminist. Based not so much on Goldman’s works (which speak for themselves, in my opinion, including the photographs you always see of her where she looks so strong and lucid) but on her personal life, it tells her life’s story using her ten year relationship with “king of the hobos” Ben Reitman at its crux and fulcrum, the man whose personality enabled her tours and book sales and pamphleteering, yet caused her endless sorrow and loneliness that haunted her almost until her death.

There are so many lessons to learn from Emma Goldman, and it’s easy, especially after reading this book, to focus on the sad things. The fact is, Goldman died with little fanfare, her gravestone not even accurately depicting her age, and all her utopian visions drowned in a sea of Stalinism in Russia, Franco fascism in Spain, and indifference in the United States. And her greatest love affair made her feel a failure not only because Ben could not fulfill her, but because it made her question her beliefs in the free love that she advocated.

Yet what fills me with hope for myself is that her supposed “failures” in her personal life, which in many ways she sacrificed so that she could devote herself to the greater good of her causes, have in time shown themselves to perhaps be her greatest legacy. After all, she is the anarchist who decided that the personal WAS political, her greatest quote perhaps being “If I can’t dance, it’s not my revolution!” She was a great enthusiast for the arts, for music, and for poetry, buddy buddied with Stanislavsky and bohemian types in Chicago and New York, and encouraged the sexual expression of love without risk of guilt or pregnancy. She made a best friend out of a former lover (Alexander Berkman), and showed men and women everywhere that love could be expressed outside of marriage, and that sex could be expressed outside of commitment (though perhaps commitments were preferable to random shacking up) and outside of the need for God. Even family took on a new connotation, as Emma found herself in many different living arrangements in her life, including living with former lovers and their current beaus, quite difficult even for people in this day and age.

She was also able to make lemons out of lemonade in so many circumstances. One classic example from this book is that during her deportation alongside Berkman from the U.S. to Russia, she and he were able to organize a strike amongst the passengers to enable better bread-baking during the voyage! When the least adversity strikes me, I tend to wallow in the solace of my girlfriend, booze, and an episode of Mystery Science Theater, but she was at her most productive and inspired when things were at their bleakest in her personal life.

I guess it’s good to know that one’s heroes had doubts and loneliness and failures as well (that’s perhaps why Thomas Pynchon published Slow Learner). I’m still a bit bummed out after reading this, but Goldman continues to be a hero and inspiration to me, and the fact that she had loneliness and doubts only makes her achievements that more compelling.

 

 
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