Nuclear Rays From My Halogen Haze

music, politics, art, Elvis apologism

I want Mike for Christmas! December 27, 2008

Filed under: Bands,Bubblegum,Christmas,Comedy,Personal Shit,Television — orangehairboy @ 9:23 am

Santa brought me the Young Ones on DVD, the OHM electronic music box-set, some cook books including The Veganomicon, and even winter snows!  But perhaps my favorite gift of the modern era is the internet, where I can go back and see strange clips from things I saw on telly when I was ten!

I saw Peter and Davy a couple weeks back at a showing of Head, where Peter said that Mike was always an “againster” during the Monkees heyday.  But it looks like he was a joiner for at least a little bit during this goofy time in eighties history.  Note how thrilled Martha Quinn looks!

 

Slade beats Simon LeBon at Christmas! December 25, 2008

Filed under: Bands,Celebrities,Christmas,Comedy,Glam Rock,Performers,Television — orangehairboy @ 7:50 am

It’s fifteen minutes until Christmas!  Enjoy it the Slade way.  From The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer

 

Radovan Karadzic arrested July 22, 2008

Filed under: Celebrities,Christmas,Comics,Other Stuff,Politics — orangehairboy @ 6:58 pm

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Radovan Karadzic, the Bosnian Serb president from 1992-1995, the ”Butcher of Bosnia” (not sure who coined that nickname–maybe me?), has been captured and will be “transferred to the Hague in ‘due course.’“ 

When I see this guy, I can’t help but think of Joe Sacco’s book War’s End, his graphic novel about the war in the former Yugoslavia.  There’s a chapter where Sacco and some NPR friends actually met the man, before an Orthodox Christmas service in Pale, Bosnia, in 1996.  Since then, Karadzic has been hiding, mostly in plain sight, growing a big bushy beard (hey, it worked for Saddam, for a while), and basically walking around like a free man, until his capture in Serbia within the last 24 hours or so.

It’s creepy to me how a former psychiatrist, a man who knows madness and knows the common humanity in all our minds, could become a nationalist murderer.  Maybe a man dedicated to a cause and removed from the practice of actually delivering on that cause can shield his conscience from the reality of his actions.  Maybe it’s similar to how a man who enjoys child porn can ignore the monstrosity behind the images he’s seeing, fooling himself that he’s not responsible for the rape of a child in the same way as the men who actually physically did it and documented it for his amusement.

It’s hard for me to really fathom a man like Karadzic, much less describe him, so I’ll let Joe Sacco do the work for me:

During the service, I kept looking over at him waiting for something to sink in, but it never does… not the rapes, not the concentration camps, not the “cleansing,” not the throats slit and the bodies dropped into the Drina, not the prisoners machine-gunned in their thousands and dumped into mass graves, nor the boggling amount of other corpses and crimes that lie at this man’s feet…

So I start again… I focus on something specific… what he said early in ’94 during one of modern memory’s most notorious sieges and bombardments of a civilian population center, Sarajevo, his adopted city… “Sarajevans will not be counting the dead,” he ‘d said.  “They will be counting the living.” 

 

A Christmas Story December 26, 2007

Filed under: Christmas,Movies — orangehairboy @ 6:10 am

I was in San Francisco for Christmas, away from a well-stocked Christmas kitchen, and had to make do with some family at a Chinese restaurant. It reminded me a bit of one of the least P.C. scenes in one of my favorite movies:

Has there ever been a better Christmas movie than this? This even beats out the Grinch (original, of course), the Rankin-Bass films, or Emmet Otter’s Jugband Christmas.

Released in 1983, this film portrays the youth of a young kid named Ralphie growing up in the immediately post-WWII era, a place that most parents of Ralphie-aged kids in the 80′s would recognize. Somehow the film’s era and pacing and warmth and humor was just right, hitting a hot button of nostalgia in every generation who saw it–those who grew up then, those who were still growing up, and those who lived through the forties and fifties as adults. I mean, my grandmother loved this film! Yet with its bits about cursing and flagpole licking, and its acknowledgment of the literally painful travails of childhood, it was hip enough that it still resonates now.

Anyway, the last thing I need to do in the dwindling hours of Christmas is to blog, so I’ll leave you with the image that this movie put into my head for all those years I watched it on Christmases in the 80′s:

 

Who Says a Good Action Sequence Doesn’t Belong at Christmas? December 22, 2007

Filed under: Christmas,Movies,Mystery Science Theater 3000 — orangehairboy @ 6:47 am

In creating my list of potential all-time best Christmas songs, I omitted one of my faves!  How could I forget MST3K’s “Patrick Swayze Christmas?”

There’s no tradition like a new tradition!

This is from “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians,” which is not nearly as good as “Santa Claus,” but whatevs.

 

The Ventures’ Christmas Album December 20, 2007

Filed under: Albums,Bands,Christmas,The Ventures — orangehairboy @ 1:32 am

This is the most rockin’ Christmas album of all time.  It doesn’t contain the best Christmas single of all time (I’d probably give that award to Elvis, the Chipmunks, Chuck Berry, Spike Jones, Run DMC, the Sonics, the Crossfires, Slade, the Beach Boys, Wizzard, or Dr. Elmo), but it is the best, most consistent album in the bunch. 

The Ventures’ Christmas Album

It’s got all the traditional songs such as “Frosty the Snowman” and “White Christmas,” and the usual rock carols such as “Blue Christmas.”  But it does it in a damned clever way–three decades ahead of the mash-up craze, each of these songs uses the riffs from one song while using the melody of another.  So “Woolly Bully” becomes “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” the Beatles’ “I Feel Fine” becomes “Jingle Bell Rock,” etc. 

There’s not a stinker in the bunch, except maybe for the oddly-placed original “Scrooge” which, while aptly titled for Christmas, sonically doesn’t belong in the mix.  But whatever.  This album will rock your holiday party like none other.  I give it three mistletoe kisses and a gallon of soy nog.

The only clip I could find of a Ventures Christmas song on YouTube was some guy’s kick-ass version of it on Guitar Hero!  I guess you can play the carols as well as hear them this year.

P.S. Runners up include the Beach Boys Christmas album, the Phil Spector Christmas album, and of course, Elvis!  That man is still the King, and I don’t know why my music-loving friends haven’t rediscovered this fantastic vocalist and icon. 

In researching this piece, I found an amazing bit of drugged-up Elvis holiday fare.  Enjoy!

 

Little Drummer Boy December 12, 2007

Filed under: Celebrities,Christmas,David Bowie,Songwriters — orangehairboy @ 9:23 pm

I was getting a sandwich from the deli section of Whole Foods (literally standing behind the “making copies” guy, which was weird) when I realized that they were playing this Christmas ditty over the speakers:

I don’t know why this particular Bing Crosby/David Bowie song caught the public imagination so strongly (you never hear any other songs from that Christmas special), but I do wonder what the conversation went like after the shoot:

BING: So, what do you have planned for the rest of the day?  I was going to try to get in nine holes with Bob.  You want to make it a threesome?

BOWIE: Blimey, I’m too tired for any more threesomes today, and don’t even talk about getting in holes!  My black girlfriend can’t sing, my white girlfriend is exhausted from being on Roxy Music album covers and selling disco albums in Europe, and my wife is away at Wonder Woman tryouts.  I think I’m just going to go snort cocaine off a teenage boy’s ass!

 Actually, Bowie was getting his life back together at that point, and probably wanted to appear with Bing just to make himself look normal (read “not a bisexual android”) for American audiences.  He’d already been trying hard a couple years earlier by writing weekly little diary entries (they read like LiveJournal entries) for Mirabelle Magazine.  I’ve been parsing through these, and there are amazing little snippets of info, like this:

 Speaking of wild costumes and people dancing and acting crazy – I’ve just gone to see the most amazing show! You may have heard something about it – it’s called ‘Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’ – and I must say it’s one of the most bizarre shows I’ve ever seen, besides mine, of course! All the characters from all the old Beatles’ songs come to life right before your very eyes! Strawberry Fields is a really pretty girl with a fabulous voice; Mr. Kite is a glitter rock star; Rita, the meter maid, turns out to be a man. The costumes and sets are just spectacular – and everyone in the show is super talented. It’s one of the biggest hits in New York these days and soon the whole show will go on the road. It’s even set to go to Japan, so it looks like it may come your way, too!

 

 
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