Nuclear Rays From My Halogen Haze

music, politics, art, Elvis apologism

Michael J. Nelson, why did you break my heart? July 30, 2009

Filed under: Celebrities,Comedy,Mystery Science Theater 3000,Politics,Television — prodigalsonnybono @ 4:58 pm

Okay, so this is a personal request, done late late late in the day.  But can I ask why one of my personal heroes is a right-wing fuck, and has been for years?

Well, let me say this, I read the National Review cover to cover.  Check in at Townhall.com every day.  Check the Washington Times daily.  Listen to Dennis Prager and Michael Medved on a regular basis.  Read Mark Steyn with regularity.  Read the Weekly Standard.  So, yes, I do vote Republican.  As the pundit Hugh Hewitt has observed, there are indeed two Americas: Serious America and Silly America.  The Democrats seem bent on turning this into Silly America, so I stick with those who wish this to remain Serious America.

 So, now that it’s six or so years since you said those flippant words, and Bush has proven to be the most wasteful, unconstitutional, and deceitful president we’ve ever had, can I get a retraction from the man whose comedy I love so dearly?  I can understand that as the writer and actor on an underdog show, Mike Nelson might have sympathy for Bush, a president whose lack of popularity surely puts him in the “cult following” category of presidents such as Fillmore or Taft.  But jeezuz, Nelson, your show is so much better than your politics.  Maybe your inability to see the continuity between Republican pro-rich policies and the current economic fiasco we’re in stems from watching all those plotless Coleman Francis movies?

The best thing I can say about Nelson is that because he never wore his politics on his sleeve, he was able to make me laugh, and poke fun at movies without revealing how truly enthused he was about some of their saccharine religious plot-points.  But jeezuz, your people destroyed our country.  I hope Joel Hodgson rips your heart out of your chest with his teeth and videotapes it, so he can make fun of it later.

 

Beverly Garland RIP December 12, 2008

Filed under: Los Angeles,Movies,Mystery Science Theater 3000,Obituaries,Television — prodigalsonnybono @ 12:29 am

Beverly Garland died this week.  The press remembers her mostly for her television work, and as a Roger Corman B-movie actress.

I remember her as both!  Who can forget Swamp Diamonds on Mystery Science Theater 3000?

And let’s not be hasty and forget Gunslinger!

 

Cinematic Titanic–MST3K returns bigger than bejeezus! June 25, 2008

Over the weekend, I took my honey lamb out to the Ford Amphitheater for a little Mystery Science Theater 3000 reunion called “Cinematic Titanic,” an event that had roughly 2/3 of the cast of MST3K talking over a movie, live.  It was kind of weird, hanging out with lots of upper-middle class people in their thirties and forties in a giant packed outdoor amphitheater, drinking wine and watching a show I used to watch while on speed in college, or while sitting on a dirty floor packed with teenagers in an old Tulsa apartment.

Anyway, there I was at the amphitheater Saturday night, and at the last minute, they announced they’d swapped out the actual film they were going to use.  Instead of Roger Corman’s The Wasp Woman (which I’ve seen before, and really wanted to see get the MST3K treatment) they showed the Doomsday Machine, a film patched together in 1972 from footage taken in 1967, which had Casey Kasem and M*A*S*H* veteran/Patch Adams producer Mike Farrell in supporting roles.  The Wasp Woman was “just not shitty enough.” 

Needless to say, The Doomsday Machine was insanely shitty, and their dessication of it was incredibly funny.  And though I was never much a fan of the character Pearl Forrester on the latter-day MST3K episodes, Mary Jo Pehl was great doing voices in the film.  When a female Chinese spy on the big screen killled a woman and then left the room with an evil look in his eyes, and Pehl said “Now to break up the Beatles!” hey, that was some funny fuckin’ shit! 

For the next round, I hope they savage the movie they talked about doing when I saw the premiere of their own movie in 1995–an audience member then asked what “modern” movie they’d like to do, and Trace Beaulieu offered the idea of Cutthroat Island!

 

Who Says a Good Action Sequence Doesn’t Belong at Christmas? December 22, 2007

Filed under: Christmas,Movies,Mystery Science Theater 3000 — orangehairboy @ 6:47 am

In creating my list of potential all-time best Christmas songs, I omitted one of my faves!  How could I forget MST3K’s “Patrick Swayze Christmas?”

There’s no tradition like a new tradition!

This is from “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians,” which is not nearly as good as “Santa Claus,” but whatevs.

 

 
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