Nuclear Rays From My Halogen Haze

music, politics, art, Elvis apologism

… and a wonderful time was had by all! August 20, 2012

Our second A Rrose Is a Rrose event went VERY well. Thanks to all the people who came down with material to read–and thanks to the patrons who sat through my 4,000 plus word short story! I loved everyone’s work, and I loved how different everyone was from each other–including Marianne Stewart, whose own works differed even from one to the next. It almost sounds like I’m treating this like some kind of conservative’s nightmare of elementary school, where everyone wins and there’s no basis for comparison, but really, y’all were all good, and I felt pretty “blessed”: an odd word for an atheist to use, but I can’t think of a better one.

I gotta figure out next month’s lineup very soon–feel free to let me know anyone you think might fit the bill!

Oh, and thanks again to Erin from the Hedgehog for being a gracious host!

 

so excited for A Rrose Is a Rrose tomorrow! August 18, 2012

We have such great talent performing tomorrow: Marianne Stewart, Martin Matamoros, Erin West, Earnest Pettie, Gabriel Hart … and of course Stephen Kalinich, who I interviewed for the upcoming issue of L.A. RECORD and who had a great performance at the New L.A. Folk Fest. I’m also very excited to have Susan Burke on board, who directed an upcoming film that looks amazing called Smashed, and Paloma Alexandra Parfrey, who was in the Sharp Ease, possibly the best L.A. band of the aughts.

I worry that I’m going to be a crappy host, because I’ve been desperately trying to finish a short story, one that’s kind of dark and personal and which brings up icky feelings that make me want to crawl into a nook behind my record shelf. A lot of it is fictionalized, but the few parts that are real make me feel like a whole observation room is looking at me while I’m naked–except, you know, that I’d probably be totally fine with strangers watching me naked. Especially if the room wasn’t cold!

But the writing is taking its toll, both emotionally and in sleep hours missed due to staying up and trying to finish this shit. Here’s a short, raw cross-section, so you’ll know what to expect if you come to the reading and hear the whole thing. I’m thinking of titling it “Ice”:

Sam spent the rest of Saturday in his bedroom. He chopped a pile of speed, small so he could save the rest, again and again with the razor blade, finally snorting it as the sun went down. He lay in bed in the dark all night without sleeping, and then the next day and next night.

By Monday he had still not slept yet, and he had Italian class in five hours. He showered, put on a shirt and a pair of polyester pants, and walked towards campus, to use the computer lab before class. The grey day blended into the cement of the sidewalk. The street beside him was parallel with the sidewalk, and the lines in the sidewalk were perpendicular to the street, and everything lined up just as it should, and while he felt exhausted, at the same time he felt propelled, like he was on a conveyor belt, or the moving sidewalk of the Jetsons. Frat boys on giant wooden skateboards zoomed past him, all around him, but no one and nothing exists outside the self except what we perceive. We’re all alone, stuck in our own heads, and Sam was alone with the sky and the concrete and cement and the stale billowy puffs of dead-looking trees. The Pixies’ “Wave of Mutilation” would have been the score of this movie. A phantom razor blade, as big as the Jolly Green Giant, was chopping lines and pushing them against the sides of the sidewalk in front of him as he walked to school.

 

“Sleeves Where Legs Should Go” May 13, 2012

Today I did a reading at The Last Bookstore, along with some other talented folks: Justin Maurer from the Clorox Girls, Gabriel Hart from Jail Weddings, Kenneth Sonny Donato of A Poet’s Guide to the Bars, Jean-Paul Garnier of Loopool, Gitane Demone from Christian Death, James Carman from Images, Marianne Stewart from White Murder, and Zache Davis from being just an awesome punk rocker with awesome bike ridin’ LEGS!

For my own turn at bat, I read an album review of Johnny O’Donnell’s band, and also an original poem that I just came up with, entitled “Sleeves Where Legs Should Go.” I never thought the poem would be received so well, but people seemed to really love it, so I’m feeling confident enough to post it here. It’s a naked poem, and I hope to revisit it in the future, but here’s what I read.

Sleeves Where Legs Should Go

Sleeves where legs should go.
Albums stacked, strewn around the coffee table.
Surface stained. Wine red. Bottle rings. Scotch in my glass.
Room stuffed with sounds stuffed into sleeves.
Slides out like worried breath in, hhhhhHHHHH.
Egyptian Lover.
UH-ch-DE-n-NEE…
Sound where people should go, person once was.
Phil Spector, Brian Wilson, Stiv Bators:
Real people.
Not to make tea for, rub the back of.
To giggle like an 8 year old, sometimes like a mule. Hiiighn hiiighn!
Breaking her hand on the back of my head.
9 a.m. wake up, crust-nosed, half-asleep trip to the pound for what? Lhasa-apso mix.
Saved its life. Classes at the Rose Bowl. I taught it, him, to jump, lie down, shake my hand.
Hugging buddy at 3 a.m.
Now in Portland.
“My son calls another man ‘daddy.’”
Pressed tight between Bobby Bare and Tammy Wynette.
“It’s ain’t love, but it ain’t bad.”
Ani DiFranco said that.
Wiltern 1997.
NO SHAME.

Sitting, kitchen.
Daytime, dark.
Thick curtains block That Lucky Old Sun.
(Rapist.)
Bottle caps cluttered around the recycling bag.
Meal, not mine, smeared across the counter top.
Bukowski would be proud, though probably listening to Schubert. Not “Freak-A-Holic.”
Living room impossible.
Ikea right angles, rectangular prisms bristly with spines.
Slight grey cobweb above the wall heater, shaking gently like a grandmother’s arm.
Spinster at the mixing board.
Jerry Lee Lewis’s Old Tyme Country Music.
Younger than he is now.
Alone at the board.
Albums make no sound on their own.
Nothing.
Herzog native, Bible against his ear to hear the word of God. “It doesn’t speak!”
Nothing, just a man in a room.
Flotsam. Jetsam.
Line worker at Bama Pie, 1972, liked the song she heard on the Flip Wilson show. Twenty years under baseball bats in the garage, then estate sale, then a plastic sleeve, sticker saying forty dollars.
Now under 90’s Jabberjaw collection and Gnip Gnop.
Thousands of stories. Stories sticking, skipping, silent.
4 minutes, 33 seconds.
Super-saturated. New foot every two weeks.
Infinity plus 1 foot still infinity.
The void.
Liner notes on their backs—poetry.
10 thousand poems.
100 thousand songs.
Every turn of phrase.
Metronomes,
Gyorgi Ligeti’s hundred.
Clack. Clack-clack-clack, clack clack.
Arrhythmic.
Like shook flint rocks.
In a jar.
No spark.
No purpose.
Nothing.

The sun rolled around heaven wrong.
Rain.
Time was I’d sit out in the yard. Beneath the gazebo when the rain comes.
Now it’s not for me. Cuz…
Lester Bangs: “I’m a ghoul.”
No, whats-his-name in Almost Famous.
Cough syrup and a hermit crab.
Redhead as grey as the sky, scowling, jaw clenched, tight as the living room.
Sighing like a metal chair pulled along a cement floor.
Tight as time.
Wasted.
Permanent silence.
Packaged silence.
Infinite silence.
A black hole in a black hole.

But this record.
Save for a Rainy Day.
Mr. Dean Torrence.
Poor man’s Pet Sounds.
Very poor man.
First song, shitty cover.
Yellow Balloon.
Only I would have this.
A gift from someone who knows me best.
On the couch, the sounds of the record thunder, but gently.
“Like a Summer Rain.”

 

 
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